It has been a stressful and eventful few weeks least to say. At least every other day on the past weeks have been filled with either ‘fires’ at work, relationship or family.

I have observed that all people have their patterns. And it’s sad that the people I am surrounded with have more negative patterns going in an endless loop which they temselves do not realise or may have little awareness of. It’s not my place nor right to tell them what to do , but I can clearly say that I have been affected somewhat by these people.

I can’t help the feeling that I need to escape from these negative loop or people that perpetuate it.

However, if I do not work through this issues constructively wouldn’t that be a loop in itself that you are not able to power through such circumstances. A paradox indeed.

It would be good for me to take heed of a few things so as to remind myself and also to serve as a trigger for improvement. This is with the caveat that the other party needs to have shown tangible action that they are in it for the long term and they truly want to improve and have shown signs of that, else you may be taken for a ride for your focus on self improvement.

1. If you blame your child, could it be because you are not the right version of a parent that they can be their best version to?
   
2. If an employee is underperforming could it be that you have not provided the right training, culture or process? Do they have the right pre-requisite to succeed? Are they setup for success?
   
3. If your community is not thriving and you are the only one, have your tried connecting , uplifting or utilising each other’s strength for the greater community or are you just focused on making yourself benefit (even if you are not aware of it)?
   
4. If your spouse is unhappy, is it because you were good as partners before marriage but you have not acquired the right skillsets to be a good spouse – yet?

I don’t have the answers at this point, but putting it all down will be good for reflection and deep diving.

Now if we focus on ourselves to just be ‘happy’ or ‘successful’ but we lose all the people in the process, would it be worthwhile?

I can imagine a lot of people saying, if I had more time because I did not need to deal with my family, friends or work. Then what would all the time be used for?

I would be more financially well off if I did not have my obligations and responsibilities to my family. Then again, what would the money be used for? To get more money or just as a cushion of safety? Would we then seek out other pleasures to feel the void. Is it because of that – hence we were able to focus then on making money? Had we not have the pressures, would we be compelled to chase after financial success to create a better life for the people around us?

Again I do not have the answer , and I merely want to offload these of my head to revisit in the future again.